Power Rankings: Week 2

Power Rankings: Week 2 (last week ranking)

1) Vladimir Ducasse (1) – He would have beaten two teams (almost three) with his running backs (Arian Foster, Matt Forte) alone. EO gave him about as good a challenge as possible, but it doesn’t appear likely that Danny will lose this year. Game of the Week against Know-Shon this week.
2) Kiss the Baby (2) – He’s still the champ, and if it weren’t for Danny, he’d probably be the top team. Ryan Grant’s injury hurts (literally and figuratively), but we’re sure that Dempsey’s guy has a remedy for it. Looking to go 2-0 against the RI Bulldogs this week.
3) Know- Shon? (4) – A quiet 29 points from Chris Johnson made up for a subpar day from Andre (4.6 points). Wes Welker also chips in for 22 points, begging the question, why did we not pick him before the 4th round? Could make a jump in the rankings against Big Vlad Ducasse this week.
4) #4 Great Teammate (7) – EO jumps up three spots this week thanks to an impressive showing in the Game of the Week against Danny. 139 points as a team thanks to Rivers, Miles, Ochocinco and Gates. Intruiging matchup with the G-MEN this week.
5) Worilds Greatest (5) – Held on to their ranking thanks to late heroics from Peyton Manning (29.32 pts) and Rashard Mendenhall (20.5) and a strong performance from Ahdmad Bradshaw (14.30). Mason Crosby making case for most valuable fantasy Packer with 12 points…to the dismay of kicker-haters named Finkle everywhere.
6) G-MEN (3) – A tough Week 1 loss to the hated rival Briskets drops the G-MEN a few spots. Still dangerous with Aaron Rodgers (14 pts), Purple Jesus (11.60) and rookie superstar, Jahvid Best (18), rumblings around the league report a lack of confidence in the receiving corps and regrets about keeping possible Big Bust, Shonn Greene. Rumored to be considering name change to, “Know-Shonn?”
7) Dream Shake (9) – Hakeem Nicks (27.5) really killed it for the Shakes, so we may be seeing our first trade of the season if Craig can find a way to get in touch with Will. Matt Ryan struggled against the Steelers D (understandable), but very strong performance from the running backs: Pierre Thomas (16), Addai (10) and Frank Gore (11).
8) Softer Knocks (10) – The Softer Knocks lost, but still look fierce, thanks to another monster performance from Jamaal Charles (16.5) and strong starts from Jay Cutler (22.5) and Anquan Boldin (14.5). Definitely a team to watch for.
9) Beef Brisket (11) – Fans in Buffalo are rioting after finding out the Briskets rank 9 in the power rankings. A big win agains the hated G-MEN only moves them up one spot, but they have a golden opportunity to improve to 2-0 this week against the Shape-Ups.
10) Football Jukes (8) – The Jukes take a drop after a tough Week 1. Romo (15) and MJD (12) are good, and Visanthe Shiancoe emerged as possibly Favre’s main target with 15.6 points, but no points for Mike Sims-Walker and questions about Jonathan Stewart are not good signs.
11) R.I. Bulldogs (6) – Behind Brees and Reggie Wayne, the Bulldogs have a lot of questions on their squad as they looks to repeat last year’s success. We know Ryan Matthews should be good, but he struggled in Week 1 and Philip Rivers kept yelling at him, so that can’t be good. The Jets and Vikings struggled on offense, so we have to worry about Percy Harvin and Braylon Edwards. The Bulldogs can make a big statement this week against the Champs.
12) Tomlin’s Shape-ups (12) – It may be a long season for the Shape-Ups, some their namesake, Mike Tomlin, would certainly not stand for. A tough day for the Philly duo of Kolb and DeSean Jackson made it impossible for them to compete in Week 1, and Randy Moss got none of the Tom Brady love, so that needs to change if they are to move out of last place…